Play 356: Fermentation

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
ADAM, 17

VINCENT
Know what the problem with my school is?

ADAM
What?

VINCENT
Nothing changes.

ADAM
That’s not bad necessarily.

VINCENT
It is in this case.

(Beat.)

The entire social situation is set, that’s the problem.

ADAM
How so?

VINCENT
Everything’s been the same since freshman year.

ADAM
It must’ve changed at least a bit.

VINCENT
Barely.

(Pause.)

VINCENT
All the obnoxious, rich Pacific Heights people came in from the feeder schools tightly nit, and they’ve stayed that way. You’d think they would’ve clung together for a little while then dispersed, but nearly none of them have.

ADAM
That’s weird.

VINCENT
I know. I mean, that’s the point of coming to a new place. Breaking free of old shit and starting again. Making new friends, new groups.

(Beat.)

But not at my school. It’s all so clicky.

ADAM
That sucks.

VINCENT
It does. All the groups are set, and after a bit, I found myself outside of any of them. For a while I tried to meet new people, hoped the situation would change and I could make a new group. Or something.

(Beat.)

But none of it worked. So now I’m suspended here, just outside of any group.

ADAM
I’m sorry.

VINCENT
I am too.

(Pause.)

VINCENT
Things need change.

ADAM
Some change at least.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
Keeps stuff from getting stagnant.

ADAM
Yeah.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
All that rich obnoxiousness and pomposity sitting there and fermenting, feeding on itself…no wonder I can’t stand school anymore.

ADAM
No kidding.

(Blackout.)

Play 355: Too Many Cooks Ruin the…Conversation?

CHARACTERS
1
2
3
4

1
What was it again?

2
When are you leaving?

3
What?

4
He means the movie.

3
Oh.

1
I’m leaving tomorrow.

2
It was…it started with an A I think.

4
Did anyone see my watch?

3
No, it was the one based on that book.

2
Fast Food Nation?

3
Yeah, that’s the one.

2
It’s right here.

1
No, I meant the other one.

2
What other one?

4
Where?

1
You know.

3
It’s right here.


2
I don’t know which one you’re talking about.

3
I don’t either.

4
I can’t see it.

1
The one we saw last weekend.

2
Here.

3
We saw a movie last weekend?

4
Thanks.

2
Yeah, we went Sunday afternoon.

1
What was it called…

3
Are you sure it wasn’t two weeks ago?

4
The Science of Sleep.

2
I’m sure.

3
Strange, I don’t remember that…

1
Yeah, that’s it.

2
What was the name…

4
I said it.

2
You did?

3
Really?

1
The Science of Sleep

4
Yeah.

2
What did you say?

3
He just said it.

2
He did?

4
The Science of Sleep.

3
Yes, he did.

2
Oh yeah, now I remember.

(Pause.)

1
Did you ever find your watch?

(Blackout.)

Play 354: An Exercise in Self-Mockery

CHARACTERS
1
2

1
So.

2
So?

1
You know.

2
I so?

1
You should.

(Pause.)

1
You should just do it.

2
I know.

(Beat.)

1
Then why don’t you?

2
I don’t know.

1
No idea?

2
Nope.

1
You sure?

2
I’m sure.

(Beat.)

1
Okay.

(Pause.)

2
When?

1
What?

2
When should I?

1
So you’ll do it?

(Beat.)

2
Maybe.

(Beat.)

1
Now.

2
Now?

1
Yeah.

2
Oh.

(Beat.)

1
What?

2
Nothing.

1
No, what?

(Beat.)

2
Nothing.

(Blackout.)

Play 353: You’ll Get It Eventually

CHARACTERS
1, m, 16
2, f, 16

2
How often do you?

1
I don’t know.

2
Roughly.

1
I don’t count.

2
Just take a guess.

(Beat.)

1
I’d guess around five or six times a week.

2
Wow.

1
What?

2
That’s a lot.

1
Not really. A lot of guys do more.

(Pause.)

1
How about you?

2
(Surprised)
Me?

1
Yeah.

2
I don’t really.

1
Ever?

2
Once in a while, but not frequently.

1
Why not?

2
I don’t know.

1
Doesn’t it feel good?

2
I guess.

1
So why don’t you do it much then?

2
I don’t know.

1
You don’t feel any desire to?

2
Not really.

1
Wow.

2
What?

1
It’s hard to imagine.

2
Why?

1
It just is.

(Beat.)

You sure you’ve done it right?

2
Yeah.

1
You could easily be wrong.

2
I don’t think so.

1
Okay.

(Beat.)

2
I mean, I guess I do have some desire to.

1
Okay.

2
Just not that much.

1
That’s still hard for me to imagine.

2
Like, I have more of a desire for chocolate.

1
Seriously?

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

I can never really imagine wanting sex more than chocolate.

(1 laughs.)

2
What are you laughing at?

1
You’ll get it in a few years when you get a sex-drive.

(Blackout.)

Play 352: Different Strokes

CHARACTERS
1
2

1
What’d you think of it?

2
I liked it.

1
Really?

2
Yeah, it was good.

(Pause.)

2
Why didn’t you?

1
What?

2
It’s pretty obvious you didn’t.

(Beat.)

1
Yeah.

2
How come?

1
Too neat.

2
Too neat?

1
Yeah.

(Beat.)

2
What do you mean?

1
The ending was too happy. Too simple.

2
Sometime’s simple’s good.

1
Nothing’s ever simple in reality. Why should it be in movies?

(Beat.)

2
Happy endings are nice though.

1
Sometimes.

2
I like them at least.

1
I don’t generally. Sad endings are more interesting in my opinion. More poignant.

2
I guess. Depressing though.

1
Doesn’t bother me. Most my favorite movies are at least pretty depressing.

(Pause.)

1
Know what are great though?

2
What?

1
False endings that are happy.

2
What?

1
When it seems like a really happy ending is going to happen, and then it twists and isn’t at all.

(Beat.)

2
Those always depress me.

(Blackout.)

Play 351: Trust

CHARACTERS
JEREMY, 20
LIZ, 20

JEREMY
What’s wrong?

LIZ
Nothing.

(Beat.)

JEREMY
You’ve been quiet lately.

(Pause.)

JEREMY
What’s wrong?

LIZ
I said nothing.

JEREMY
You’re lying.

LIZ
(Angrily)
Me? Lying?

JEREMY
What is it?

LIZ
I think you’re the one who should be talking about lying.

JEREMY
What are you talking about?

(Beat.)

LIZ
I saw you with her.

JEREMY
Who?

LIZ
You know.

JEREMY
Honestly, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

LIZ
Two days ago.

(Beat.)

At the supermarket.

JEREMY
Anne?

LIZ
I don’t know what her name is. The blonde.

JEREMY
She’s an old friend of mine.

LIZ
She looked like a little more than that.

JEREMY
I’m telling you the truth. We used to be good friends, I hadn’t seen her in a while.

(Pause.)

JEREMY
Why don’t you believe me?

LIZ
I never said I didn’t.

JEREMY
You didn’t say you did either.

(Beat.)

She’s just a friend.

LIZ
Why should I believe you?

JEREMY
Don’t you trust me?

(Pause.)

JEREMY
Fine.

LIZ
What?

(Beat.)

JEREMY
Nothing.

Play 350: No Clue

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
AMELIA, 17

VINCENT
(Angrily.)
You what?

AMELIA
What?

VINCENT
Did you seriously do that?

AMELIA
Yeah, why?

VINCENT
Are you kidding me?

AMELIA
What?

(Beat.)

VINCENT
You’re unbelievable.

AMELIA
I don’t get what you’re talking about.

(Pause.)

AMELIA
Vincent, what—

VINCENT
Do you have any idea how terrible a friend you are?

AMELIA
What?

VINCENT
I shouldn’t need to explain that to you.

AMELIA
What did I do?

VINCENT
This is exactly what I’m talking about.

AMELIA
What?

VINCENT
You don’t even realize that what you did was horrible.

(Beat.)

AMELIA
I’m sorry.

(Vincent laughs.)

AMELIA
I’m really, really sorry.

VINCENT
You’re sorry?

AMELIA
Yes.

VINCENT
(Laughing.)
You’re sorry?

AMELIA
I can’t explain how bad I feel…

VINCENT
Don’t say that.

AMELIA
But it’s true. I really mean it.

(Pause.)

VINCENT
Fuck you.

AMELIA
What?

VINCENT
You heard me.

AMELIA
But, I’m really—

VINCENT
No. Don’t say you’re sorry, don’t say you didn’t mean to, don’t say another goddamn word.

AMELIA
But—

VINCENT
Fuck. You.

(Pause.)

(Vincent starts to leave.)

(He laughs, and turns back.)

VINCENT
Know what’s the best part?

(Beat.)

You still don’t have a clue.

(He laughs, then exits.)

(Blackout.)