Play 174: Stereotypical

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
ERIKA, 17

(They are sitting around a table, she is reading a stack of papers. She puts them down.)

VINCENT
So?

ERIKA
I really liked it.

VINCENT
(Slightly surprised.)
Really?

ERIKA
Yeah, very realistic.

VINCENT
So it wasn’t too stereotypical?

ERIKA
No, not at all.

VINCENT
That’s good.

ERIKA
I thought the woman was really realistic.

VINCENT
(Quite surprised.)
Seriously?

ERIKA
Yeah.

VINCENT
That’s kind of funny.

ERIKA
Why?

VINCENT
I thought she was really stereotypical.

ERIKA
Really?

VINCENT
I mean, she flips out over a random kind of insignificant thing.

ERIKA
I don’t know, to me it just seemed realistic.

(Vincent laughs.)

ERIKA
What?

VINCENT
I just find it really funny that I wrote something that I thought was being stereotypical and maybe even kind of sexist even, and then you not only don’t think of that, but thought it was accurate.

ERIKA
Well, it is. If you haven’t learned it yet, women are crazy.

VINCENT
I’m starting to get that idea.

ERIKA
It’s odd you don’t seem to have thought that though, I mean, I thought you had a pretty good grasp of the female mind when I read the story.

VINCENT
I guess.

ERIKA
I thought so at least.

VINCENT
Cool.

(Beat.)

I never realized all I had to do to accurately portray people was use blatant stereotypes.

(They laugh.)

(Blackout.)

Play 173: What Muse?

CHARACTERS
1
2

(1 is standing behind a counter in a large room.)

(2 Enters, and walks up to the counter.)

1
Hello, how may I help you?

2
I’d like to make a return.

1
Okay.

(He takes out a piece of paper.)

Which product of ours would you like to return?

2
My muse.

(1 scribbles something on the paper.)

1
And which model would that be?

2
What?

1
Is it the Muse 1000 or 2000?

2
2000.

(1 writes some more.)

1
Alright.

(Beat.)

So what’s wrong with it?

2
It does nothing.

1
So it doesn’t inspire you?

2
No.

1
Or give you ideas?

2
Not one.

(1 scribbles more on the paper.)

1
So what does it do?

2
Nothing.

1
Nothing?

2
Nothing.

(Beat.)

And I’m pretty sure it’s an alcoholic.

1
Are you sure?

2
Pretty sure.

(1 scribbles.)

1
So do you want to be reimbursed, or get store credit?

2
Cash.

1
You sure? If you do credit, you get more value in return—

2
Positive.

1
Okay.

(He scribbles.)

(He takes a slip of paper out from behind the counter, and hands it to 2)

1
Here you go.

2
What is this?

1
Take it to floor 5, and give it to the repayment department, and they’ll return your money.

2
Thanks.

1
Your welcome.

(2 exits.)

(Beat.)

(1 taps his fingers on the counter.)

(Blackout.)

Play 172: Soon

CHARACTERS
MATT, 26
NORA, 25

(Matt is sitting at a table in an apartment reading a stack of papers.)

(Nora enters.)

NORA
Hey.

MATT
(Looking up from the papers.)
Hey.

NORA
What are you—

(Her eyes widen. She jumps forward and grabs the papers from his hands.)

MATT
Hey, I—

NORA
(Angrily.)
What are you doing?!

MATT
I just wanted to read—

NORA
I told you, you can’t see it until it’s done!

MATT
I was just glancing over it—

NORA
I don’t care.

MATT
I’m sorry.

(She takes a deep breath, and appears to have calmed down slightly.)

NORA
It’s okay.

(Beat.)

It’s just not ready for anyone to see it yet.

MATT
Not even me?

NORA
No.

MATT
Don’t you want to hear my opinion?

NORA
Yeah, but not yet.

MATT
Then when?

NORA
Soon.

(Beat.)

MATT
Okay.

(Beat.)

NORA
I’m sorry.

MATT
It’s okay.

NORA
You sure?

MATT
Yeah, I can wait.

(Nora smiles, and sits down at the table next to him.)

NORA
Thanks.

MATT
Don’t worry about it.

(Blackout.)

Play 171: What Are Friends For?

CHARACTERS
LISA, 17
SARAH, 17

(They’re sitting at a table.)

LISA
So you think you’ll ask him?

SARAH
Yeah.

(Lisa looks down at the table.)

SARAH
What?

LISA
Just…

(Her voice trails off.)

Nevermind.

SARAH
What?

LISA
It’s nothing.

SARAH
No it’s not. Tell me.

LISA
He…

(Beat.)

He told me he doesn’t like you.

SARAH
(Surprised.)
What?!

LISA
I’m sorry…

SARAH
(Distraught.)
Are you sure?

LISA
Yes.

SARAH
Shit.

(Lisa puts her hand on Sarah’s arm.)

LISA
I’m so sorry.

SARAH
It’s okay.

(She looks down at the table.)

LISA
I’m sure there are tons of other guys who are dying to go with you.

SARAH
(Softly.)
I guess.

LISA
Plus, he’s an asshole, you’re better off.

SARAH
You’re probably right.

LISA
I’m still sorry though.

SARAH
Thanks.

LISA
No problem.

(There is the sound of a phone ringing.)

LISA
I’m sorry, do you mind if I take it?

SARAH
No, go ahead.

(Lisa walks to the side of the stage, a spotlight goes on her. She puts her cellphone to her ear.)

LISA
Hello?

(Beat.)

Hey!

(Beat.)

Thanks for calling back.

(Beat.)

Well, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to prom with me.

(Beat.)

No! She wasn’t planning on asking you, who’d you hear that from?

(Beat.)

So you will?

(Beat.)

Great!

(Beat.)

Well, I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later, okay?

(Beat.)

Yeah, you too. Bye!

(She hangs the phone up.)

(The spotlight fades, she walks back over to the table.)

SARAH
What was that?

LISA
Nothing, wrong number.

SARAH
I hate it when that happens.

LISA
Me too.

(Beat.)

SARAH
Thanks for telling me.

LISA
Hey, what are friends for?

(Sarah smiles slightly.)

(Blackout.)

Play 170: I Should’ve…

CHARACTERS
ANDREW, 18
ALI, 18

ALI
Why didn’t you call me?

ANDREW
I did.

ALI
You did?

ANDREW
You weren’t there. I left a message.

ALI
Really?

ANDREW
Yeah.

ALI
I guess I never heard it.

ANDREW
I called you later too.

ALI
You did?

ANDREW
Yeah.

ALI
I must’ve forgotten to listen to my messages before I—

ANDREW
(Interrupting her.)
Don’t.

ALI
What?

ANDREW
What you were going to say. (beat.) Don’t.

ALI
Why?

ANDREW
I already feel guilty enough.

ALI
You shouldn’t.

ANDREW
I guess.

ALI
You had nothing to do with it.

ANDREW
Maybe I did.

ALI
You didn’t.

(Beat.)

I was just having a lot of trouble then, it had nothing to do with you.

ANDREW
I should’ve talked to you.

ALI
You were busy.

ANDREW
I could’ve found a few minutes at least.

ALI
You called later as you said though.

ANDREW
It was too late then.

ALI
You didn’t know it would be.

ANDREW
That doesn’t mean I’m not responsible.

ALI
Even if you had talked to me, it wouldn’t have stopped me from—

ANDREW
Please don’t.

ALI
Why?

ANDREW
I don’t want to think about it.

ALI
It’s okay.

(Beat.)

I’m okay now.

ANDREW
Are you?

ALI
Yes.

ANDREW
Are you sure?

ALI
Yeah.

ANDREW
So you won’t…

(His voice trails off.)

…again?

ALI
No.

ANDREW
Good.

(Beat.)

(He looks down at the ground.)

I should’ve talked to you when you called.

ALI
It’s okay.

(She hugs him.)

It’s not your fault.

(Beat.)

ANDREW
I know.

(Lights down.)

Play 169: Good Times

CHARACTERS
ANTHONY, 22
GREG, 22

(Greg is sitting on a couch in a room of a small apartment watching TV.)

(Anthony enters smiling.)

ANTHONY
Hey.

GREG
Hey.

(He looks up from the TV.)

You look like you’re in a good mood.

ANTHONY
Yeah.

GREG
Any particular reason?

ANTHONY
Nope.

(He sits down on the couch next to Greg.)

What’re you watching?

(Beat.)

GREG
No, something definitely happened.

ANTHONY
What?

GREG
To you.

ANTHONY
Nothing specifically.

(Beat.)

(Greg suddenly smiles.)

GREG
You got lucky didn’t you?

ANTHONY
No.

GREG
You sure?

(Anthony laughs.)

ANTHONY
Yeah.

GREG
Then what happened?

ANTHONY
Nothing, just hung out with some friends, had a good time.

GREG
Any of them girls?

ANTHONY
Yeah.

(Greg smiles.)

GREG
I knew it.

ANTHONY
Honestly, that has nothing to do with this.

GREG
Sure.

ANTHONY
I just had a good time, that’s all.

GREG
Whatever.

(Beat.)

ANTHONY
You have a one track mind, you know that?

GREG
Hell yeah.

(They laugh.)

(Beat.)

ANTHONY
So what you watching?

GREG
Honestly?

(Beat.)

I have no idea.

(Blackout.)