Play 173: What Muse?

CHARACTERS
1
2

(1 is standing behind a counter in a large room.)

(2 Enters, and walks up to the counter.)

1
Hello, how may I help you?

2
I’d like to make a return.

1
Okay.

(He takes out a piece of paper.)

Which product of ours would you like to return?

2
My muse.

(1 scribbles something on the paper.)

1
And which model would that be?

2
What?

1
Is it the Muse 1000 or 2000?

2
2000.

(1 writes some more.)

1
Alright.

(Beat.)

So what’s wrong with it?

2
It does nothing.

1
So it doesn’t inspire you?

2
No.

1
Or give you ideas?

2
Not one.

(1 scribbles more on the paper.)

1
So what does it do?

2
Nothing.

1
Nothing?

2
Nothing.

(Beat.)

And I’m pretty sure it’s an alcoholic.

1
Are you sure?

2
Pretty sure.

(1 scribbles.)

1
So do you want to be reimbursed, or get store credit?

2
Cash.

1
You sure? If you do credit, you get more value in return—

2
Positive.

1
Okay.

(He scribbles.)

(He takes a slip of paper out from behind the counter, and hands it to 2)

1
Here you go.

2
What is this?

1
Take it to floor 5, and give it to the repayment department, and they’ll return your money.

2
Thanks.

1
Your welcome.

(2 exits.)

(Beat.)

(1 taps his fingers on the counter.)

(Blackout.)