Play 231: Turn the Music Down!

CHARACTERS
GENE, early 20s
DEREK, late 20s

(There are two doors on one floor of an apartment. Loud music is coming from one of them.)

(Gene exits from the one on the right.)

GENE
(Muttering to himself angrily.)
Goddamn it.

(He knocks on the left door.)

(Beat.)

GENE
Hello?

(He keeps knocking.)

GENE
(Yelling.)
Hello!

(The door opens almost immediately afterwards, catching Gene by surprise.)

DEREK
(Slightly annoyed.)
What?

GENE
(Nervously.)
Well uh…

DEREK
Well?

GENE
(Softly.)
Would you mind turning the music down?

DEREK
I can’t hear you.

GENE
Would you mind turning the music down?

DEREK
Funny you should say that.

GENE
(Confused.)
Why?

DEREK
Because I would.

GENE
You would…?

DEREK
Mind.

(Beat.)

GENE
Oh.

(Beat.)

Because, well uh, I’d…

DEREK
What?

GENE
(Nervously.)
I would really like it if you could…

DEREK
No.

GENE
What?

DEREK
(Annoyed.)
I said no.

GENE
Oh.

(Pause.)

DEREK
Well?

GENE
(Confused.)
What?

DEREK
Are you just going to keep standing there?

GENE
But—

DEREK
(Annoyed.)
But what?

(Pause, Gene wrings his hands nervously.)

(Derek smiles.)

DEREK
But you want me to turn the music off?

GENE
Well uh, if it wouldn’t—

(Beat.)

Yeah.

DEREK
So ask me.

GENE
Okay.

(Beat.)

(Timidly.)
Would you please turn the—

DEREK
Come on.

GENE
What?

DEREK
I said ask me.

GENE
I did.

DEREK
With conviction.

(Beat.)

GENE
Could you turn off the music?

DEREK
Nevermind about asking.

GENE
(Confused.)
What?

DEREK
Tell me.

GENE
Huh?

DEREK
Tell me to turn the music down.

(Beat.)

Tell me!

GENE
(Timidly.)
Turn the music down.

DEREK
Come on.

GENE
(A bit louder.)
Turn the music down.

DEREK
Louder!

GENE
(Slightly yelling.)
Turn the music down!

DEREK
Louder !

GENE
(Screaming.)
Turn the fucking music down!

(Derek smiles.)

DEREK
Okay, I’ll turn it down.

GENE
Thanks.

(Derek smiles.)

DEREK
No problem.

(He closes the door.)

(Gene remains standing looking rather confused.)

(Beat.)

(The music turns off.)

GENE
(Muttering to himself.)
Thank god.

(He walks back to his door and pauses with his hand on the door-handle. He looks back at the other door with a confused look.)

GENE
(Muttering.)
What the fuck…

(He shakes his head, then opens the door and goes inside, shutting it behind him.)

(Blackout.)

Play 230: Tom Waits is Still the Man

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
FRANK, 17

(They are sitting listening to music.)

VINCENT
Know who’s lyrics are really interesting?

FRANK
Who?

VINCENT
Tom Waits.

FRANK
I haven’t listened to too much of him.

VINCENT
That’s too bad.

FRANK
Yeah.

VINCENT
He’s awesome.

FRANK
You’ve told me.

VINCENT
Oh.

(Beat.)

But I love his lyrics, they’re incredibly bizarre, but in a really interesting way.

FRANK
That’s cool.

VINCENT
Yeah, he has the Bob Dylan stream of consciousness kind of thing going, but in a completely psychotic way so they don’t exactly make sense most of the time but convey the emotion of the song really well.

FRANK
Sounds interesting.

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Beat.)

Like I love this one line of his—aboard a shipwreck train.

FRANK
That’s not that weird.

VINCENT
Really?

FRANK
It seems to make sense to me.

VINCENT
How?

FRANK
Well, it’s like a train-wreck or whatever.

VINCENT
But he says shipwreck train.

FRANK
Oh.

(Beat.)

That is weird.

VINCENT
I know.

(Beat.)

Or I love the first verse of the song.

FRANK
What is it?

VINCENT
Inside a broken clock, splashing all the wine with all the rain dogs
Taxi, we’d rather walk, huddle in a doorway with the rain dogs
For I am a rain dog too.

FRANK
What the fuck?

VINCENT
Exactly.

FRANK
That makes no sense.

VINCENT
No, but it’s really amusing and cool.

FRANK
I guess.

VINCENT
His lyrics grow on you.

FRANK
Okay.

(Beat.)

But just curious…

VINCENT
Yeah?

FRANK
What the hell is a rain dog?

VINCENT
I have absolutely no idea.

(Beat.)

(Vincent laughs to himself.)

FRANK
What?

VINCENT
Oh, I just love this simile he uses in one of his songs, it’s one of the strangest ones I’ve ever heard.

FRANK
What is it?

VINCENT
Independent as a hog on ice.

FRANK
What the fuck?

VINCENT
Exactly.

(Blackout.)

Play 229: Lazy

CHARACTERS
1
2

1
What is it?

(2 pauses pensively.)

2
I don’t know.

1
You don’t?

2
Nope.

1
No idea?

2
None.

1
Oh.

(Beat.)

Well, do you know what yours is?

2
Mine?

1
Yeah.

2
Nope.

(Beat.)

1
That’s odd.

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

1
How come neither of us knows are names?

2
Maybe we don’t have any.

1
Is that possible?

2
I guess.

1
Weird.

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

Guess he was just too lazy to think of them.

1
That sounds reasonable.

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

1
That sucks.

2
Indeed it does.

(Blackout.)

Play 228: Argumentative

CHARACTERS
1, m
2, m

1
Tired.

2
What?

1
Tired.

2
Tired?

1
Yeah, tired.

(Beat.)

2
That doesn’t make sense.

1
I meant, I’m tired.

2
Then why didn’t you say that?

1
You knew what I meant.

2
I didn’t.

1
You should’ve.

2
Why?

1
It’s obvious.

2
It isn’t.

1
It is to me.

2
Not to me.

1
Maybe that’s your problem.

2
Maybe it’s yours.

1
Why are you being so argumentative?

2
Me?

1
Who else?

2
You.

1
I’m leaving.

2
What?

1
You heard me.

2
Why?

(1 shakes his head, then exits.)

(2 shakes his head, then follow after 1.)

(Blackout.)

Play 227: Don’t

CHARACTERS
MAN

(The stage is empty at first, but after a couple second the man walks on, and to the front.)

(Beat.)

MAN
You don’t.

(Beat.)

Not really.

(Beat.)

You don’t know.

(Beat.)

I don’t care how much you’ve said you do, how much you’ve thought you do. I don’t care about any of that.

(Beat.)

You don’t.

(Pause.)

You say it’s the same for you, that you know exactly how it is. That you’re sorry but, you used to be like that and be in the same place, and hey! Look how it turned out!

(Beat.)

Because of course I’ll take comfort that someone who had gone through the exact same thing got through it all, so it’s the same for me, right?

(Beat.)

But you didn’t, and it’s not.

(Pause.)

And sure you’ve gone through your own troubles, ones I’ve never seen, I’m not arguing that. I’m not trying to say you have it better off than me, and I really don’t mean to come off as self-pitying, I really don’t feel that way no matter how much it might sound like it does.

(Beat.)

But that’s not what we’re talking about.

(Pause.)

I’m just tired of it.

(Beat.)

Tired of you trying to put everything I say in the context of your life, stretching details so it looks the same so you can say, yeah, me too!

(Beat.)

Tired you assuming it’s not a big deal.

(Beat.)

No, you don’t say that directly. But when you say it’s just the same as you, that’s what it means to me.

(Beat.)

That’s what you’re assuming.

(Pause.)

I’m tired of it.

(Beat.)

So don’t.

(Beat.)

Because you don’t know, and it’s not the same.

(Beat.)

Not really.

(He pauses, then walks off.)

(Blackout.)

Play 226: How Do You End a Scene When the Lights Are Already Down?

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
DON, 17

(The stage is completely black.)

(There is the sound of footsteps, then the sound of a light switch being switched. The lights come on, revealing Vincent sitting on a couch in the middle of the room, and Don, who is standing in the doorway of the room.)

(Vincent starts screaming in pain, and covers his eyes with his hands.)

VINCENT
Turn the lights off!

DON
What?

VINCENT
Turn the fucking lights off!

DON
Okay!

(He switches the light switch, and the room is plunged into darkness again. The lights are slightly brighter than earlier however, so the silhouettes of both of them are just barely visible.)

(Beat.)

DON
Headache?

VINCENT
Wow, those are some fucking amazing deductive skills there.

DON
Hey, I was just asking.

VINCENT
Sorry.

DON
It’s okay.

VINCENT
Guess the headaches making me a little edgy.

DON
Don’t worry about it.

VINCENT
Thanks.

(Beat.)

DON
So I can’t turn the lights on?

VINCENT
No!

DON
Sorry.

VINCENT
It’s okay.

(Beat.)

Just yeah, please don’t.

DON
Okay.

(Beat.)

Well, I think I’m going to go then.

VINCENT
Okay, see you later.

DON
Later.

(Don exits.)

(Beat.)

VINCENT
(Muttering to himself.)
Goddamn it.

(The already dim lights fade to black.)

Play 225: Lucky

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
AMELIA, 17

AMELIA
It’ll work out.

VINCENT
Maybe.

AMELIA
It will.

VINCENT
I don’t have such a good feeling.

AMELIA
Why?

VINCENT
I don’t know.

(Beat.)

I just don’t.

AMELIA
Well that’s not a good reason.

VINCENT
I know.

(Beat.)

Murphy’s Law?

AMELIA
Cop out.

(He laughs.)

AMELIA
But seriously, you shouldn’t worry.

VINCENT
I know.

AMELIA
These kind of things tend to work out.

VINCENT
I guess.

AMELIA
They do.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
You’re lucky.

AMELIA
What?

VINCENT
I said you’re lucky.

AMELIA
I know, I meant why?

VINCENT
You’re an optimist.

AMELIA
It can be annoying at times.

VINCENT
Better than the opposite.

AMELIA
I guess.

VINCENT
It is.

(Beat.)

AMELIA
I guess saying not to worry again won’t help?

VINCENT
Pessimism.

(Beat.)

AMELIA
So no?

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Blackout.)