Play 168: Where Do You Want to Go?

CHARACTERS
BRUCE, 27
JESSICA, 26

(They are standing by the door of an apartment.)

BRUCE
Where do you want to go?

JESSICA
Hmm…

(Beat.)

I don’t know.

BRUCE
How about the Mexican place?

JESSICA
We went there a few days ago.

BRUCE
Okay, umm…

(Beat.)

Chinese?

JESSICA
I don’t really feel like that.

BRUCE
So where do you want to go?

JESSICA
I can’t think of any places.

BRUCE
Italian?

JESSICA
Hmm…

(Beat.)

No, sorry, I’ve had a lot of that recently.

BRUCE
Is there anywhere you do want to go?

JESSICA
I don’t know.

BRUCE
Maybe we should just take something out.

JESSICA
No, I want to go out.

BRUCE
Well, then you think of somewhere to go, you don’t seem to go anywhere I can think of.

JESSICA
I’m too tired to think of places, I’m sure you’ll think of one I like.

BRUCE
You have a place in mind don’t you?

JESSICA
What?

BRUCE
You just don’t want to say it.

JESSICA
That’s ridiculous.

BRUCE
No it’s not, you have somewhere you want to go but you don’t want to be assertive so you’re waiting for me to say it.

JESSICA
(Slightly offended.)
No I’m not.

BRUCE
It sure seems like that.

JESSICA
(Slightly angry.)
I don’t do that.

BRUCE
Okay.

(Pause.)

How about Japanese?

JESSICA
Sure.

BRUCE
Cool, let’s go.

(He opens the door and starts to head out, but she remains standing.)

BRUCE
What?

(She doesn’t respond.)

Look, I’m sorry.

JESSICA
(Still looking a bit upset.)
It’s okay.

BRUCE
It’s been a long week, I guess I’m just a little edgy.

JESSICA
(Her expression lightens up.)
Let’s go.

(He smiles.)

BRUCE
Sounds good, I’m starving.

(She smiles.)

JESSICA
Me too.

(They exit.)

(Blackout.)

Play 167: I’ll Do It In a Bit

CHARACTERS
DAVID, 22
JACK, 22

(They sit on a couch watching TV in a room of a relatively messy apartment.)

JACK
(Surprised.)
You haven’t?

DAVID
No.

JACK
Why not?

DAVID
I don’t know.

JACK
You know if you don’t call soon she’ll be pissed, right?

DAVID
Yeah.

JACK
And you had a good time?

DAVID
Yeah, very.

JACK
You should call.

DAVID
I know.

JACK
So do it.

DAVID
I will.

JACK
Why not now?

DAVID
Because.

JACK
Because why?

DAVID
I don’t know.

(Beat.)

What if she didn’t have as good a time?

JACK
Didn’t she say she did?

DAVID
Doesn’t mean it’s true.

JACK
I guess.

(Beat.)

DAVID
What if she doesn’t want to go out again?

JACK
Then you get it over with at least.

DAVID
I guess.

JACK
Stop over thinking it, just call her.

DAVID
I know.

JACK
So you will?

DAVID
Yeah, I’ll do it in a bit.

(Jack shakes his head. They go back to watching TV.)

(Blackout.)

Play 166: Paranoid

CHARACTERS
AARON, 25
EMMA, 25

(They are sitting at a table in the kitchen of a modest apartment, they have plates in front of them with the remnants of dinner on them.)

(There is the sound of a phone ringing.)

(Aaron jumps up from his seat and picks his cell phone up off a counter in the kitchen, Emma’s eyes follow him as he does so.)

AARON
Hello?

(Beat.)

(He smiles.)

Hey!

EMMA
Who is it?

AARON
(Into the phone.)
One second.

(He puts his hand over the mouthpiece to the phone, and turns to Emma.)

A friend.

EMMA
(Suspiciously.)
Which one?

AARON
Just a friend.

(He puts the phone back to the side of his head.)

Hey, sorry about that.

EMMA
(Slightly angrily.)
Which one?

AARON
Sorry, one second.

(He puts his hand back over the phone.)

(Angrily.)
Look, can you just stop being so paranoid? It’s just a friend.

EMMA
Then tell me who?

(He puts the phone back up to the side of his head.)

AARON
Sorry, Emma is just being naggy.

EMMA
(Angrily.)
What?!

AARON
(To her.)
Well you are.

EMMA
(Exasperated and angry.)
I can’t believe you just—

(She storms off.)

AARON
What did I say?

(She exits to another room of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.)

(Pause.)

AARON
(Into phone.)
Tomorrow?

(Beat.)

Yeah, that works for me.

(Beat, he smiles.)

I love you too baby.

(Beat.)

Bye.

(He shuts his phone, and puts it back on the counter.)

(Beat.)

(He breathes in and out deeply, and then exits through the door Emma had gone through.)

AARON
(From offstage.)
Emma?

(Beat.)

(Blackout.)

Play 165: Cop-Out II

CHARACTERS
1
2
BEN, 17

(1is sitting in a chair reading. Two enters. One looks up at two.)

1
(Smiling.)
Cop-out!

2
(Also grinning.)
Cop-out!

1
Cop-out?

2
Cop-out.

(Beat.)

Cop-out?

1
Cop-out.

(Pause.)

(Ben enters.)

(They both turn to face him with angry looks on their faces.)

BEN
Hey.

(Pause.)

What’s wrong?

1
Are you fucking kidding me?

BEN
What?

2
You seriously wrote a scene in which we both just say the phrase cup-out?

BEN
I didn’t say it was good.

1
It can’t even be considered a scene.

BEN
I know, I—

2
I don’t care if you have to write one every day.

BEN
But—

1
I mean, you could even do a bad scene, but at least try to stretch yourself.

BEN
I know, but—

2
No buts, just do it.

BEN
I’ll try.

1
You’d better.

BEN
Or what?

2
Let’s put it this way.

(Beat.)

You know how much random brutal violence occurs in your scenes?

BEN
Point taken.

2
Good.

1
Let’s go.

2
Yeah.

(1 and 2 exit.)

(Ben sits down in the chair.)

BEN
(Muttering to self.)
Fuck.

(Blackout.)

Play 164: My Dreams Are Psychotic

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
THERAPIST , early 60s

(Vincent is lying on a couch, the therapist is sitting in a chair to the side, there is a pad of paper on his lap and he has a pen in his hand. The therapist has a desk that is off to the side in the room.)

THERAPIST
Have you had any dreams you remember recently?

VINCNET
Some.

THERAPIST
Why don’t you tell me what happened in one of them.

VINCENT
I could try, but they don’t make any sense.

THERAPIST
A lot of people’s dreams don’t.

VINCENT
I mean, I don’t even know what the hell happened in most of them.

THERAPIST
Well try to describe them.

VINCENT
I don’t know if I can put them into words.

THERAPIST
Try.

VINCENT
Okay.

(Beat.)

I guess one of them I can barely describe.

THERAPIST
Go ahead.

VINCENT
So, I was in this building, I don’t remember what it looked like, it was kind of fuzzy. So, there was a pool kind of, or something like it, and there were these stepping stones or something in it, you know, like in a Japanese tea garden or something?

THERAPIST
Yeah, and?

VINCENT
So, there was a race going on.

(Beat.)

Well, not really, there wasn’t really a race happening, like no one was running or anything like that, but for some reason I just knew that there was a race going on.

THERAPIST
Okay.

VINCENT
And, I think my old Spanish teacher was there, I don’t really remember anything that he did or said, or if he did do anything, I just remember he was there.

(Beat.)

And then I was suddenly outside, and it was like the back of my old school. And there were random characters from Six Feet Under sitting on the playground, and I talked to them and it was as if we were friends or something, but I don’t remember any of the conversation.

THERAPIST
Hmm, interesting.

(He scribbles something on a piece of paper.)

And is this particularly strange for one of your dreams?

VINCENT
Not at all.

(Beat.)

That’s one of the most normal ones, I mean, the fact that I actually understood even that much alone means it’s one of my more normal dreams.

(The therapist scribbles more.)

VINCENT
What are you writing?

THERAPIST
Oh, nothing.

(Beat.)

Well, that’s the end of the session for today.

VINCENT
Oh, okay.

(He sits up.)

THERAPIST
I’ll see you next week.

VINCENT
Yeah.

(He leaves.)

(The phone on the therapists desk rings. He walks over to the desk and picks up the phone.)

THERAPIST
Hello?

(He puts the pad of paper he had been writing on down. The writing on it is visible—he has written the words “bat-shit insane” on it.)

(Beat.)

Oh yes, well…

(Fade out.)

Play 163: Same Time, Same Place

CHARACTERS
BEN, 17

(The stage is empty. He enters and walks up to the front.)

BEN
Hi everyone.

(Beat.)

So, I thought I would address one of the recent trends of my scenes I’ve been writing.

(He nervously rubs his hands together.)

I mean, how I’ve been writing almost completely cop-outs. Well, I don’t have much to say, but, I’m tired from lack of sleep and burned out from school, and, you have no idea how hard it is to think of ideas.

(Beat.)

So, anyways, I just want to apologize for all of that…and, I swear, I’ll have some new and interesting ones coming up soon, or I hope so at least.

(Beat.)

And, some of you may say, but Ben, haven’t you always had a lot of cop-outs, not just recently? And to you I say…

(His voice trails off. Beat.)

I say…

(He runs one of his hands through his hair.)

Umm…

(He starts backing up slowly.)

(Suddenly he screams, and whips out a gun, which he starts pointing back and forth in the general direction of the audience.)

BEN
Stay back! All of you!

(He keeps backing away.)

(Suddenly a horrified look comes across his face. He puts the gun back away.)

BEN
Umm, I mean, I would say...

(Beat.)

Yes, that is a good point, but…

(Beat.)

Oh fuck it, yes, I’ve had a lot of cop-outs, deal with it.

(Beat.)

I mean, look at this scene, what the hell is this?

(He laughs.)

I mean, I just fucking pulled out a gun for absolutely no reason.

(Beat.)

Anyways, that’s all I got for now, see you tomorrow, same time, same place.

(He walks offstage slowly.)

(Blackout.)

Play 162: Coincidences

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
JEFFREY, 17

(They’re sitting on a couch watching TV.)

VINCENT
It was so bizarre.

JEFFREY
Wait, so what happened?

VINCENT
So, I was talking to this person about Memento.

JEFFREY
So?

VINCENT
Well, right after we got off the bus, I went to the computer lab to do some writing, and guess what’s on on the TV in there?

JEFFREY
Seriously?

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Beat.)

And, it’s not like I talk about that movie all the time or anything.

JEFFREY
That is pretty bizarre.

VINCENT
It is.

(Pause.)

VINCENT
Man, Coincidences are weird.

JEFFREY
(With a look of shock on his face.)
Woah…

VINCENT
What?

JEFFREY
I was just going to say that man…

VINCNET
Seriously?

(Beat.)

(Jeffrey starts laughing.)

VINCENT
Fuck you man.

JEFFREY
(Inbetween bursts of laughter.)
I couldn’t resist.

VINCENT
I was kind of asking for it wasn’t I?

JEFFREY
Indeed.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
They are weird though.

JEFFREY
I know.

VINCENT
Okay.

(Beat.)

(Blackout.)