Play 147: I Fear Change

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
DARRELL

DARRELL
So you’re leaving tomorrow?

VINCENT
Yeah.

DARRELL
Same here. You excited?

VINCENT
I guess.

DARRELL
You don’t sound it.

VINCENT
I rarely feel to excited before a trip.

DARRELL
Really?

VINCENT
Yeah, do you?

DARRELL
Depends.

VINCENT
I guess.

DARRELL
Why don’t you?

VINCENT
I’m not sure.

DARRELL
No idea?

VINCENT
(Very seriously and a little ominously.)
I fear change.

DARRELL
You shouldn’t.

VINCENT
I take it you didn’t catch the reference?

(Beat.)

DARRELL
Reference?

VINCENT
Yeah.

DARRELL
What was it a reference to?

VINCENT
Wayne’s World.

DARRELL
Wait…

(Beat.)

What was?

VINCENT
The I fear change line.

DARRELL
Oh.

VINCENT
Yeah.

DARRELL
So you don’t fear change?

VINCENT
No, I do to some degree.

(Beat.)

DARRELL
I’m starting to get very confused.

VINCENT
You think you’d get used to it.

DARRELL
Ouch.

VINCENT
I couldn’t resist, one of my old friends used to use that line, I try to use it whenever I can.

DARRELL
Don’t worry about it.

VINCNET
I wasn’t planning on it.

(Beat.)

DARRELL
What the hell where we talking about?

(Beat.)

VINCENT
Honestly?

(Beat.)

No clue.

(Blackout.)

Play 146: Boredom

CHARACTERS
BEN, 17
BOREDOM

(Ben sprawled out on a couch staring blankly at a TV. Boredom is sitting on a chair off to the side.)

BEN
(His voice is partially muffled as his face is buried in the couch.)
Why won’t you leave?

BOREDOM
Don’t want to.

BEN
Don’t you have anything better to do?

BOREDOM
Nope.

(Beat.)

Neither do you.

BEN
I know.

(Beat.)

I mean, why do you think you’re here?

BOREDOM
What’s your point?

BEN
Why do I have to have a point?

BOREDOM
Because—

BEN
Look, just let me watch TV.

BOREDOM
Fine.

BEN
Good.

(Pause.)

BOREDOM
You know, I think I’m going to leave.

BEN
Finally.

BOREDOM
I feel loved.

BEN
(Flatly.)
Hooray for you.

(Boredom starts to leave.)

BEN
Hey, can you tell Tiredness to come?

BOREDOM
Sure.

(Beat.)

Oh, I just remembered something.

BEN
What?

BOREDOM
He said he won’t be here for at least another hour or two.

BEN
Seriously?

BOREDOM
Yeah.

BEN
Fuck, I need to get up early tomorrow.

BOREDOM
Tough luck.

(He leaves.)

(Ben buries his face further in the couch.)

BEN
(Mostly muffled.)
Fuck.

(Blackout.)

Play 145: Lockers VI (aka, Why Can You Spell It Both “Grey” and “Gray”?)

CHARACTERS
1, male, 16
2, male, 16

(They sit against lockers in an otherwise empty hallway.)

1
You can guess the question.

2
I can?

1
Yup.

2
Let’s see…

(beat.)

How’s life?

1
Something like that.

2
Well.

(Beat.)

Grey.

1
Gray?


2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

1
Mean boring?

2
Yeah.

1
Then why didn’t you say boring?

2
It’s not just that.

1
What else?

2
You know, boring, vague, mediocre…

(Beat.)

Just grey.

1
I know what you mean.

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

1
I’m sorry.

2
It’s okay.

(Beat.)

How’s your life?

1
Hmm…

(Beat.)

Magenta.

2
You’re an asshole, you know that?

(1 laughs.)

1
I’m just joking,

2
I know, so was I.

1
I know.

(Beat.)

2
You got what I meant though, right?

1
Yeah.

2
Okay.

(Beat.)

(He shakes his head.)

2
Asshole.

(They laugh.)

(Blackout.)

Play 144: Dreams

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
ALLEN, 18

(Allen is sitting on a couch watching TV, it appears to be late morning. Vincent enters, looking groggy from having just woken up, and with a confused look on his face. He sits down next to Allen.)

ALLEN
Hey.

VINCENT
Hey.

ALLEN
What happened to you?

VINCENT
What?

ALLEN
You look kinda tripped out.

VINCENT
I did just wake up.

ALLEN
True.

(Beat.)

That it?

VINCENT
Had a weird dream.

ALLEN
How so?

VINCENT
I don’t know, just very strange.

ALLEN
I mean, like what was it about?

VINCENT
I have no idea.

ALLEN
Don’t remember?

VINCENT
No, I do.

ALLEN
So what was it about?

VINCENT
I have absolutely no idea, it was pretty psychotic.

ALLEN
In what way?

VINCENT
I just didn’t really know what was happening, or even who a lot of the other people were.

ALLEN
So the other people weren’t people from your actual life or something?

VINCENT
Some weren’t, some were real people but just kept shifting.

ALLEN
I know what you mean, that happens to me sometimes too.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
Man…

ALLEN
What?

VINCENT
Still trying to figure out what the fuck my dream was about.

ALLEN
Yeah.

(Beat.)

Figured anything out?

VINCENT
Not even close.

(Beat.)

Man, and the few connections to real life were pretty weird too.

ALLEN
Like what?

(Beat.)

VINCENT
I don’t really want to talk about it.

ALLEN
Come on.

VINCENT
Sorry.

ALLEN
You can’t mention something then not say anything about it.

VINCENT
Really?

ALLEN
Yeah.

VINCENT
Watch me.

(He gets up and exits.)

(Allen turns around on the couch to face where Vincent went.)

ALLEN
Hey!

(Beat.)

(He shakes his head.)

(Beat.)

Ehh, fuck it.

(He goes back to watching TV.)

(Blackout.)

Play 143: Imagining Things

CHARACTERS
BEN, 17

(Ben is standing on the corner of a crowded city street holding a sign that says “Will Work for Ideas.”)

(A buisiness man in a nice suit walks by in a briefcase.)

BEN
Do you have any ideas?

(He exit.)

BEN
(Yelling after Him.)
Just one?!

(Beat.)

(An old woman enters.)

BEN
Please, help!

(She briefly glances at him, then keeps walking.)

BEN
(Yelling after her.)
I’ll do anything!

(She exits.)

BEN
(Muttering.)
Fuck.

(A man enters, on his shirt, in giant letters, is written “Ideas for Free!”)

(Ben stares at the shirt in shock as the man walks past him and exits.)

(His expression suddenly shifts from shock to worry.)

BEN
Wait, no, come back!

(He rushes over to the side of the stage where the man exited, and looks offstage.)

(Beat.)

BEN
Fuck!

(He walks back to where he had been standing with a pensive and confused look on his face.)

(He shakes his head.)

BEN
I must be imagining things.

(A man dressed as a gigantic sheet of paper with the word “Ideas” written in foot tall letters on it enters.)

(Ben stares at it. He blinks, then rubs his eyes, and looks at it again, appearing to be surprised once again when he sees it is still there.)

(It walks over to Ben, and stands in front of him for a few seconds. Ben continues to stare at it in outright shock.)

(It walks offstage, Ben’s eyes following it in disbelief the entire way.)

(Pause.)

BEN
Okay (beat.) I’m definitely imagining things.

(The giant sheet of paper re-enters. It walks past Ben again, and exits.)

(Ben remains standing silently in confusion.)

BEN
I really need to get more sleep.

(Beat.)

(He drops the sign on the ground, and walks offstage.)

(Blackout.)

Play 142: It’s All He Knows (aka, 24−The Extreme School Edition)

CHARACTERS
YOUNG JACK BAUER, 17
STUDENT, 17

(They are standing in front of a row of lockers putting books in their backpacks and getting everything ready before school starts.)

YOUNG JACK BAUER
Do you know when class starts?

STUDENT
I’m not sure.

YOUNG JACK BAUER
(Screaming.)
Do you know when class starts?!

STUDENT
I said I don’t—

(YJB grabs the student by the throat and slams his back against the lockers.

YOUNG JACK BAUER
(Screaming.)
Stop lying to me!

STUDENT
(Talking softly because the air is cut off.)
I don’t know—

YOUNG JACK BAUER
Tell me the truth!

(He releases the student, and punches him in the side of the face, launching him to the ground.)

(The student screams, and curls into a ball on the ground clutching where he got hit.)

STUDENT
Please, I’m not lying to—

(YJB pulls out a gun.)

STUDENT
I’m telling you the truth!

(YJB points the gun at him.)

YOUNG JACK BAUER
What do you know?

STUDENT
I don’t know any—

YOUNG JACK BAUER
(Screaming.)
What do you know?!

(He cocks the gun, and pushes the end of the barrel into the students head.)

STUDENT
(Screaming and sweating profusely with a look of complete horror on his face.)
I don’t know anything, I swear!

YOUNG JACK BAUER
Don’t make me do this!

(He pushes the gun in harder.)

STUDENT
No!

YOUNG JACK BAUER
Tell me what I need to know!

STUDENT
I don’t know anything!

YOUNG JACK BAUER
Tell me!

(The student starts crying.)

(Beat.)

YOUNG JACK BAUER

Fine.

(YJB pistol-whips the student in the head, knocking him unconscious.)

(He looks down at his watch.)

YOUNG JACK BAUER
We don’t have enough time!

(He runs offstage.)

(Lights down.)

Play 141: You Have No Idea

CHARACTERS
BEN, 17
DAVID, 17

(Ben is sitting in front of a computer looking at the screen, there is a box of Kleenex’s to his side, and a trashcan next to him is filled with discarded Kleenex’s.)

(David enters.)

DAVID
Hey.

BEN
(He sounds extremely congested.)
Hey.

DAVID
Man, you sound like shit.

BEN
You have no idea.

DAVID
So, what’s happening?

BEN
Trying to write my scene.

(He blows his nose in a Kleenex.)

(David looks at the blank screen.)

DAVID
Not going well?

BEN
Not at all.

DAVID
How come?

BEN
I feel far too shitty.

DAVID
That sucks.

BEN
Once again (beat.) you have no idea.

(David notices the trash can.)

DAVID
Holy shit that’s a lot of Kleenex’s.

BEN
I know. I’ve gone through several boxes.

(He uses another Kleenex and throws it away.)

DAVID
Shit.

BEN
As soon as I blow my nose, I have to again (beat.) I mean literally as soon.

DAVID
I’m sorry man.

BEN
It’s okay.

(He sneezes.)

DAVID
Bless you.

BEN
Thanks.

(He sneezes several times.)

BEN
Goddamn it…

(He blows his nose again, using several Kleenex’s this time.)

DAVID
Man, you should go to sleep.

BEN
I know.

(Beat.)

Oh fuck…

(He sneezes again.)

DAVID
Anyways, shit, I should go.

BEN
Okay.

DAVID
Good luck with your scene though, and I hope you feel better.

BEN
Thanks.

(David exits.)

(Ben blows his nose again.)

BEN
Goddamn it.

(He looks at the blank screen.)

Goddamn it.

(Blackout.)