Play 133: Lockers V

CHARACTERS
1, male, 16
2, male, 16

(They sit against lockers in an otherwise empty hallway.)

1
So.

(Beat.)

2
So?

1
So how’re you?

2
Weird.

1
How come?

2
I feel like a zombie.

1
That’s odd.

2
It is.

1
Any reason?

2
I’m not sure.

1
Anything happen?

2
Does it ever?

1
Good point.

2
It’s just been an odd day.

1
How so?

2
Well, earlier I was in a shitty mood.

1
Any particular reason?

2
Nope. But I felt really weird, like I wanted to cry and beat the shit out of someone at the same time.

1
That’s intense.

2
Yeah, thankfully I don’t feel like that anymore.

1
Yeah.

2
Now I just feel numb though.

1
That sucks.

2
Better than it was before.

1
True.

2
The weirdest part is I have no idea why.

1
What?

2
I mean I have no idea why I was in a shitty mood earlier or why I feel like I do now.

1
That is a little weird.

2
I thought so.

1
Yeah.

(Beat.)

2
So how’re you?

1
Me? I’m fine.

2
Just fine?

1
A little bored.

2
(Sarcastically.)
What a shock.

1
I know.

(Beat.)

2
Tired?

1
What?

2
Are you tired.

1
Yeah. (beat.) How could you guess?

2
How could I not have?

1
You make a good point.

2
Indeed.

(Beat.)

1
Something really needs to happen.

2
Definitely.

1
Like…now!

(Beat.)

Damn.

2
Damn.

(Blackout.)

Play 132: Idea Theft

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
REPORTER’S VOICE

(He is sitting on a chair with a computer on his lap typing. There is a television set in front of him, the new is on.)

(He types for a few seconds.)

VINCENT
(To himself.)
And…

(He hits a button with a flourish.)

Done!

(He closes his computer and starts watching the television.)

REPORTER’S VOICE
(Coming from the TV.)

And, in local news, a man was killed in an apparent robbery. He was found dead on the sidewalk early this morning, his watch, wallet, and all valuables remained, but it appeared that a sizeable number of ideas had been stolen from his body.

(A nervous look suddenly overcomes Vincent’s face.)

VINCENT
(Muttering.)
Shit.

New information just in—it appears the ideas stolen were in fact for short scenes of some kind, the police are currently looking into it to try to find more details, and we’ll keep you posted as the story develops.

VINCENT
Fuck.

(He starts nervously tapping on the arm of the chair.)

(There is a noise from offstage.)

(He looks to where the noise came from anxiously.)

VINCENT
(Muttering to himself.)
What the hell was that?

(He starts to get up.)

(Suddenly a SWAT Team bursts in through the doors and all the windows around him, wood shards and glass are send flying everywhere.)

VINCENT
Fuck!

(He gets up and starts to run.)

(Almost immediately one of the SWAT team members tackles him, and pins him to the ground.)

VINCENT
(Yelling.)
No, I’m innocent!

(Several other SWAT members come over to him, and they put handcuffs on him.)

VINCENET
I swear, I didn’t do anything!

(They finish getting the handcuffs on.)

VINCENT
Please, you have to believe me!

(They start dragging him towards the door.)

VINCENT
You can’t do this! You got nothing on me, nothing, you hear me?!

(They get him to the door, and one of them opens it.)

VINCENT
You’ll never take me alive!

(He pathetically tries to break free from their grasp, but they maintain their hold and drag him out the door.)

(All of them leave but one SWAT member.)

(He shakes his head, and then leaves, closing the door behind him.)

(Pause.)

(Blackout.)

Play 131: Sports-Related Injury

CHARACTERS
BASKETBALL PLAYERS, late 20s
REPORTER, late 30s

(The reporter is interviewing the basketball player after an NBA game has just ended. Random people walk by them, filing out of the arena, and the reporter is holding a microphone to the basketball player, who towers over him.)

REPORTER
Are you happy with the way your team played?

BP
Definitely, we played solid defense and our shots were dropping.

REPORTER
They certainly were. And you had a great game yourself, hit some key shots down the stretch.

BP
Thanks, well, you know, I knew we had to get some points and they got the ball in my hands so I did all I could to get us the W, and tonight my shot was going down.

REPORTER
And what about your teammate’s injury?

BP
Well, you know, any time on of your teammates gets hurt, it always hurts you, especially when you lose a key guy like Toine’, but we just kept our heads in the game and pulled through without him. Now we just gotta hope he’ll be healthy and ready to go come next game, cause we definitely need him to be on the floor with us.

REPORTER
And do you know what happened? It was hard to make out what happened, him and Allen Iverson collided, and both hit the floor, and somehow Antoine ended up with some bleeding in his midsection it looked like.

BP
Yeah, after that none of us wanted to get near Iverson.

REPORTER
What?

BP
You mean you didn’t see what happened?

REPORTER
No, as I said all we could make out is that Antoine collided with Iverson.

BP
Oh.

(Beat.)

Well Toine’ got shanked by him.

REPORTER
(Shocked.)
What?!

BP
Yup, AI cut him good when Toine’ tried to go around him.

REPROTER
Are you telling me Allen Iverson stabbed another player during the game?

BP
Yeah I am.

REPORTER
Are you sure?

BP
One hundred percent.

(Beat.)

REPORTER
Well, thanks for talking, and great game!

BP
Thanks.

(The basketball player exits.)

(The reporter turns to face the audience.)

REPORTER
Well, if you haven’t been listening, something stunning has just occurred. It appears that in the game, Allen Iverson actually stabbed another player in the stomach during the game.

(Beat.)

Shocking, just shocking. If you’re wondering, if these allegations are true, this would be the first time all year Allen Iverson has actually shanked someone, though in two games this year he has attempted to.

(Beat.)

Well, that’s it for tonight, I hope you enjoyed the game, and I would like to wish Antoine a swift return from this terrible injury. Good night.

(Blackout.)

Play 130: Parties part IV

CHARACTERS
ANDREW, 17
ROSA, 17

(They are sitting outside on the curb, it’s late at night. They’re outside a house where a party is going on, loud music is coming from it.)

ROSA
Well, something like...

(She leans over and kisses him.)

(He pulls back with a look of shock on his face.)

ROSA
Oh.

ANDREW
It’s okay.

ROSA
I’m sorry, I’m a little tipsy, and I thought—

ANDREW
No, it’s okay.

ROSA
(Confused.)
It is?

ANDREW
Yeah.

ROSA
Then why did you—

ANDREW
I was surprised.

ROSA
Surprised?

ANDREW
Yeah.

ROSA
So you’re not mad?

ANDREW
Mad?

(He laughs.)

Not at all.

(She smiles.)

(Pause.)

ROSA
So?

ANDREW
(Confused.)
So?

(She laughs.)

ROSA
You’re hopeless.

ANDREW
What?

(She leans in and kisses him again. They kiss for a few seconds.)

ANDREW
(Smiling.)
You know, you were right about what you said earlier.

ROSA
About what?

ANDREW
About tonight not having to suck.

(She laughs.)

ROSA
Good.

(Beat.)

ANDREW
So, do you want to go back inside?

ROSA
Not really.

ANDREW
Me neither.

(He smiles.)

(Blackout.)

Play 129: Parties part III

CHARACTERS
ANDREW, 17
ROSA, 17

(They are sitting outside on the curb, it’s late at night. They’re outside a house where a party is going on, loud music is coming from it.)

ANDREW
Plus, the music sucks ass.

ROSA
It does.

(They laugh.)

ROSA
But you really should try to just let go.

ANDREW
And do what?

ROSA
Just have a good time.

ANDREW
(Sarcastic.)
What do you mean? I’m having a blast sitting here alone outside.

(He laughs, and takes another sip of his beer.)

(She laughs.)

ROSA
Sure looks like it.

ANDREW
Oh yeah.

ROSA
You know what I mean though.

ANDREW
Yeah.

(Beat.)

But I’ll probably end up just staying here by myself trying to drink enough that I don’t care.

ROSA
You shouldn’t be so pessimistic.

ANDREW
Why?

ROSA
For one thing you’re not alone.

(Beat.)

ANDREW
True.

(Beat.)

Somehow I still have the feeling tonight’s going to suck though.

ROSA
Why?

ANDREW
I don’t know.

(He takes another sip.)

Just will probably.

ROSA
You should try to be a little more optimistic.

ANDREW
Then tell me how to make tonight not suck.

ROSA
I don’t know.

(Beat.)

Just do something crazy.

ANDREW
Crazy?

ROSA
You know, impulsive or something?

ANDREW
I guess.

(Beat.)

Like what?

ROSA
Well, something like...

(She leans over and kisses him.)

(Blackout.)

Play 128: Parties part II

CHARACTERS
ANDREW, 17
ROSA, 17

(They are sitting outside on the curb, it’s late at night. They’re outside a house where a party is going on, loud music is coming from it.)

ROSA
What’s wrong?

ANDREW
Parties just always kind of depress me.

ROSA
Why?

ANDREW
They make me feel nervous.

(He takes a sip of his beer.)

ROSA
How come?

ANDREW
Just make me feel out of place.

ROSA
I know what you mean.

ANDREW
One of my friends knows a lot of the people so she asked me to come along, so I don’t really know anyone.

ROSA
Well that’s part of the fun, you know?

ANDREW
I guess.

(Beat.)

I wish I knew some more people thought.

ROSA
Well what about the friend?

ANDREW
I don’t know where the fuck she is.

ROSA
She ditched you?

ANDREW
Yeah.

ROSA
What a bitch.

(He laughs.)

ANDREW
She’s alright.

(She laughs.)

ROSA
So not knowing anyone’s all that’s bothering you?

ANDREW
Just, as I said, I hate parties.

ROSA
Why?

ANDREW
Honestly, I just never know what to do. It’s just awkward, and I always end up sitting in a corner and don’t end up talking to anyone.

ROSA
I thought you seemed a little shy.

ANDREW
Yeah.

ROSA
It’s okay though, just cause you’re shy doesn’t mean parties have to suck.

ANDREW
Could’ve fooled me.

ROSA
I mean, there’s always booze.

(She points to the beer in his hand.)

(He laughs.)

ANDREW
Yeah, there’s always that.

ROSA
But seriously, you should just try to talk to people.

ANDREW
I know.

ROSA
I mean, come on, parties are supposed to be fun, just go and meet new people, maybe dance a little or whatever, just let go, that's the whole point of parties.

ANDREW
I’m not a big fan of dancing.

ROSA
Really?

ANDREW
Yeah.

ROSA
You’re missing out.

ANDREW
I know.

(Beat.)

Plus, the music sucks ass.

ROSA
It does.

(They laugh.)

(Blackout.)

Play 127: Why I Hate Most Mainstream Movies

CHARACTERS
SPECIAL EFFECTS
FIGHT SCENE
PLOT
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
ACTUAL GOOD MOVIE

(A man with a sign on him the says “Special effects” and another with a sign that says “Fight Scene” are in the middle of the stage. They are fighting in slow-motion, a la Matrix, and there are a flurry of flashing lights and pyrotechnics combined with bursts of noise and various other effects.)

(A man with a sign that says “Plot” enters.)

PLOT
Hey.

(The other two continue their slow-motion fighting and ignore him.)

PLOT
Uhh, guys…didn’t you invite me to come?

(Pause.)

Come on, isn’t there something I can do?

(Pause.)

Fine, I see how it is.

(He walks off.)

(Pause, they continue fighting, and the special effects in the background continue.)

(A woman with a sign that says “Character Development” enters.)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
Hey.

(Pause, they ignore her.)

Are you guys just going to ignore me again.?

(Pause.)

I should’ve fucking known.

(She exits angrily.)

(Pause.)

(A man with a sing that says “Actual Good Movie” enters.)

(He stands in silence watching them fight.)

(Pause.)

(He shakes his head, and exits silently.)

(The two continue fighting.)

(Suddenly they stop.)

SPECIAL EFFECTS
They left, right?

FIGHT SCENE
Yup.

SPECIAL EFFECTS
Sweet.

FIGHT SCENE
Totally.

(They commence the slow-motion fighting again.)

(Suddenly there is a gigantic burst of light and flames, and then the entire stage is covered in smoke.)

(Lights down.)