Play 182: Done!

CHARACTERS
BEN, 17
ALAN, 17

(The stage is empty except for two signs a few feet apart in the middle. The first says “AP’s” and the second says “SAT 2’s.” There is a button on the ground a few feet in front of each of them.)

(Ben walks on.)

(He looks at the AP sign, then walks up to the button in front of it.)

(He steps on it.)

(The “AP’s” sign explodes in a burst of smoke, pieces of it fly across the stage and scatter across the ground.)

(He walks over to the other button, and steps on it.)

(The other sign blows up like the first.)

(Ben smiles.)

(Alan enters.)

(He looks at the shards of what had been the signs.)

ALAN
Done with all your tests?

BEN
Yeah.

ALAN
Nice.

BEN
Definitely.

ALAN
I still got an AP left.

BEN
That sucks.

ALAN
Yeah.

(Beat.)

Anyways, well done.

(He gestures at the pieces of the signs.)

BEN
Thanks.

(Alan leaves.)

(Ben looks at the sign-shards.)

(He grins.)

BEN
(Muttering to himself.)
Thank god.

(He walks offstage, pausing to kick one of the larger pieces on his way.)

(Blackout.)

Play 181: Yet Another Return of…

CHARACTERS
MAN 1, late 20s
MAN 2, late 20s
RANDOM AWKWARD MAN, male, 16

(The two men are sitting in a café drinking coffee.)

(2 takes a sip of his.)

1
Good?

2
Great.

1
Yeah, told you.

2
Yeah, thanks for bringing me here.

1
You look like hell.

2
Yeah.

1
Long week?

2
Very.

(RAM enters the coffee shop.)

RAM
(To audience, whispering.)
This looks like a job for…

(Yelling.)
Random Awkward Man!

(Everyone in the coffee shop turns towards him in surprise.)

(Beat, they stare at him, he remains still. After a couple seconds, they all turn back to their conversations.)

(RAM walks over to the two men.)

1
What happened?

2
Just a lot of work.

(They look up and notice RAM standing directly next to them.)

1
(To RAM.)
Uhh, can I help you?

(RAM remains silent.)

2
Hello?

(Beat.)

1
Can you please leave?

(RAM reaches into his pocket, and his hand comes out with a bouncy ball, which he proceeds to hurl at the table. Both the men are startled as the ball flies off the table, ricochets of the window behind them, and bounces on the floor a couple times before vanishing into a corner.)

2
Look, can you please leave?

(RAM remains still.)

1
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

(Beat.)

(RAM pulls out a handgun.)

1
(Frightened.)
Hey, take it easy!

2
Please, don’t shoot!

RAM
It’s okay, it’s only a quirt gun!

(The two men sigh in relief.)

1
Oh, thank god.

RAM
See?

(He points the gun towards man 1 and shoots it. From the loud noise of the gunshot, and from man 1 being launched out of his seat and onto the ground, it is clear it is in fact a real gun.)

(2 Stares in horror, unable to move, everyone else in the coffee house screams and either takes cover under tables or runs out the door.)

RAM
Away!

(He puts the gun away, and runs off, humming something faintly.)

(2 remains staring in horror, 1 remains motionless on the ground with a pool of blood gradually growing around him.)

(Blackout.)

Play 180: Give It Time

CHARACTERS
1
2

1
You must be really happy.

2
(Flatly.)
Yeah.


(Beat.)

1
You don’t sound like it.

2
It’s just…

1
What?

2
I feel kind of guilty.

1
Why?

2
I don’t know.

1
You shouldn’t.

2
I know.

1
You should just enjoy it.

2
I can’t help feeling like I don’t deserve it.

1
You do.

2
Maybe.

1
Even if you don’t, so what?

2
Maybe someone else deserved it more than me.

1
Even if that’s true it’s not your fault.

2
I guess.

1
It’s not like you can change it.

2
Yeah.

1
Just enjoy it.

2
I know I should.

1
The guilt won’t accomplish anything.

2
I know.

1
Besides driving you insane for no good reason that is.

2
I said I know.

1
Sorry.

2
It’s okay.

(Pause.)

1
I don’t see much enjoyment going on still.

2
Give it time.

(Blackout.)

Play 179: Fuck the AP’s

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
DAVE, 17

(They’re sitting at a table, it’s late at night.)

DAVE
(Sarcastically.)
Really?

VINCENT
I know I always am, but this is different.

DAVE
How so?

VINCENT
I’m just really exhausted.

DAVE
And that’s different from usual?

VINCENT
You don’t get it.

DAVE
What don’t I get.

VINCENT
I takes me effort to focus my eyes. (Beat.) and they sting.

DAVE
That sucks.

VINCENT
And I feel oddly detached from my body.

DAVE
Are you sure you’re not on drugs?

VINCENT
(Slightly annoyed.)
Yes.

DAVE
Cause you’re sounding kind of like you are.

VINCENT
I’m just really tired.

DAVE
Sure.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
You know what the moral of the story is?

DAVE
What?

VINCENT
Fuck the AP’s.

DAVE
Yeah.

(Beat.)

VINCENT
(Worried.)
Oh shit…

DAVE
What?

VINCENT
I really should study for the one Friday, but I can barely even think, let alone study.

DAVE
So don’t.

VINCENT
Yeah, I don’t really have much of a choice.

(Pause.)

Fuck the AP’s.

DAVE
Amen.

(Blackout.)

Play 178: Wrong Game

CHARACTERS
ANTHONY, late 20s
NICHOLAS, early 40s
GOONS

(They are standing in a dark, largely empty warehouse. Rays of sunlight come in through dirty windows, illuminating the large amounts of dust that hang in the air. Anthony stands on one side of the room, Nicholas on the other. Behind Nicholas are several goons, each with guns out and pointed at Anthony.)

NICHOLAS
Are you going to give it to me?

(He extends his arm towards Anthony.)

ANTHONY
I thought we had a deal.

NICHOLAS
Deals change.

ANTHONY
You broke your word.

NICHOLAS
I guess that makes me a liar, doesn’t it?

ANTHONY
Fuck you.

NICHOLAS
The money?

ANTHONY
Then what?

NICHOLAS
Then you leave.

ANTHONY
And if I don’t?

(Nicholas nods his head towards the goons.)

ANTHONY
I won’t forget this.

NICHOLAS
What’re you going to do, call the cops?

(He laughs.)

(Beat.)

So where is it?

ANTHONY
You think I’m dumb enough to have brought it with me?

NICHOLAS
No, but it never hurts to ask does it?

(Beat.)

Where is it then?

ANTHONY
Why should I tell you?

(Nicholas grins.)

NICHOLAS
Don’t make me repeat myself.

ANTHONY
What, you’ll shoot me?

NICHOLAS
If you want it to come to that.

ANTHONY
Bullshit.

NICHOLAS
Really?

ANTHONY
I die, you don’t get shit.

NICHOLAS
I’m giving you one last chance.

(Beat.)

Tell me where it is.

ANTHONY
Come on, shoot me!

(He points with both his hands to his chest.)

(Nicholas grins.)

NICHOLAS
Last chance.

(Beat.)

(Anthony grins.)

ANTHONY
If you’re not bluffing, then fucking shoot me!

(He taps his hands on his chest.)

(Beat.)

(Nicholas nods to the goons, one of them fires, hitting Anthony in the stomach. The sound reverberates throughout the room, and Anthony, with a look of shock, collapses to the ground. He starts screaming, his hands desperately holding the wound.)

(Nicholas gestures to one of the goons, who walks over to him and gives him his gun.)

(Nicholas walks up to him, and points the gun at him.)

(Anthony claws at the ground, desperately trying to drag himself away.)

NICHOLAS
You think you’re so smart huh?

(He laughs.)

ANTHONY
Please!

NICHOLAS
(Serious and business-like, not a trace of anger.)
You’re in the wrong game.

(He shoots him, Anthony’s body shudders from the impact, and he crumples, motionless and limp, on the ground.)

(Beat.)

(Nicholas shakes his head.)

NICHOLAS
Does he really think he has to tell us where it is for us to find it? Who does he think we are?

(He laughs.)

Amateur.

(He kicks Anthony’s body.)

(Blackout.)

Play 177: Whiny Emo Crap

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
ANNA, 17

(Vincent is sitting at picnic table outside in the shade, staring off into the distance with a slightly forlorn look.)

(Anna enters and sits at the table.)

ANNA
Are you okay?

(Vincent looks slightly startled, and turns to face her.)

VINCENT
Yeah.

ANNA
You sure?

VINCENT
I’m fine.

ANNA
You look a little off.

VINCENT
I do?

ANNA
Yeah.

VINCENT
I guess I am.

ANNA
Why?

(Beat.)

I’m just sick of people telling me I’m one of their best friends, then not going out of their way to do anything for me ever.

(Beat.)

I’m tired of saying hi to people in hallways and them not responding, tired of them actively ignoring me and avoiding eye contact so they don’t have to say anything to me.

(Beat.)

I’m tired of feeling like I’m insignificant, expendable, like I’m always a consolation prize and no one really wanted me here in the first place. I’m tired of empty promises, words, friendships, of people being oblivious, of feeling like I’m invisible.

(Beat.)

You want to know why I’m in a bad mood? Look in the fucking mirror.

(Anna stares at him looking shocked and offended.)

(Lights down.)

(Pause.)

(Lights up, Vincent is sitting alone at the table, staring of in the distance.)

(Anna enters and sits at the table.)

ANNA
Are you okay?

(Vincent looks slightly startled, and turns to face her.)

VINCENT
Yeah.

ANNA
You sure?

VINCENT
I’m fine.

ANNA
You look a little off.

VINCENT
I do?

ANNA
Yeah.

VINCENT
I don’t really want to talk about it.

ANNA
Okay.

(Blackout.)

Play 176: Bad News

CHARACTERS
BRIAN, 25
WILL, 25

(Brian is sitting on a couch in an apartment watching TV.)

(Will enters.)

WILL
Hey.

BRIAN
Hey.

WILL
How’s it going?

BRIAN
Okay.

(Beat.)

WILL
Is something wrong?

BRIAN
It’s just (beat.) you're mom called.

(His voice trails off.)

WILL
What did she say?

BRIAN
Will, you’re (beat.) you’re dad died.

WILL
(Shocked.)
What?

BRIAN
Earlier today, he had a heart attack.

(Will walks over and slowly lowers himself into a chair by the couch. He stares at the ground with a horrified expression.)

WILL
Fuck.

BRIAN
I’m sorry.

(Beat, suddenly a grin breaks out on his face.)

For having gotten you so good!


WILL
What?

(He looks up at Brian.)

(Beat.)

WILL
(Angrily.)
You fucking asshole!

(He stands up.)

(Brian bursts into laughter.)

WILL
You mother-fucking asshole!

(Brian falls onto his side on the couch laughing.)

WILL
(Slightly stunned.)
I can’t believe you…

BRIAN
(In between fits of laughter.)
I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.

WILL
Couldn’t resist? Fuck you!

(He exits, slamming the door behind him.)

(Brian eventually stops laughing, and sits back up. He takes a deep breath, then grins again.)

(Blackout.)

Play 175: What Do We Have Here?

CHARACTERS
COP
VETERAN DETECTIZVE
ROOKIE DETECTIVE

(Two detectives have just arrived at a crime scene. There is a dead man sprawled out in a chair, there is blood splattered around.)

VETERAN
So, what do we have here?

COP
His ID says he’s Gerald Brown. He appears to have been shot three times--twice in the stomach, and once in the leg.

ROOKIE
Any witnesses?

COP
No, no one else was here when we arrived.

(The veteran starts looking around the room.)

VETERAN
So rookie, what do you think happened?

ROOKIE
Well…

(He paces around, looking carefully.)

ROOKIE
Judging by the magazine lying on the ground a bit away from the chair, I’d say he was probably reading here when the shooter came in…

(He pauses in his pacing.)

And, I’d guess the shooter caught him by surprise, he must have dropped it after the first shot.

VETERAN
I disagree.

ROOKIE
Yeah, I guess it is possible he saw the shooter, and dropped the magazine as he tried to get up and then caught the first bullet.

VETERAN
No.

ROOKIE
So you think I was right?

VETERAN
(Pacing around.)
No.

ROOKIE
What do you think happened?

VETERAN
Anything look odd to you?

ROOKIE
No.

VETERAN
Look over here.

(He points to the back of the chair.)

(The rookie looks at it.)

(Beat.)

ROOKIE
So?

VETERAN
And here.

(He points to two shells lying on the ground.)

ROOKIE
What?

(Beat.)

Oh, that there are only two of them? That’s not surprising, maybe the third’s lying around somewhere else, or the killer picked up only that one for some reason.

VETERAN
That’s not what I meant.

ROOKIE
Then what?

VETERAN
They’re 45s.

ROOKIE
I know. So?

VETERAN
How many holes you see in the chair?

(The rookie looks.)

ROOKIE
Two.

VETERAN
And…

ROOKIE
What?

VETERAN
That doesn’t seem odd to you?

ROOKIE
No, one could’ve gotten stuck.

VETERAN
Could’ve.

(Beat.)

But look…

(He points.)

The one hole that’s missing would be right behind this wound.

(He points to the body.)

It’s a clear path. If the other two went through, this one should’ve too.

(The rookie looks with an expression of confusion.)

ROOKIE
That is odd.

VETERAN
And, doesn’t his pose look a little off?

ROOKIE
I guess it’s a little strange.

(Beat.)

What’s your point?

VETERAN
He wasn’t killed here.

ROOKIE
What?

VETERAN
The first shot to the stomach killed him, the killer than brought him here and fired off the other two shots to make it look like this was the scene of the crime.

ROOKIE
But why?

VETERAN
Well, that my friend…

(He pauses.)

Is our job to find out.

(Blackout.)