Play 195: Watt?

CHARACTERS
BEN, 17
SAMUEL BECKETT, old

(Ben is sitting at a table reading a book.)

(As he’s reading, a confused look comes across his face.)

BEN
(Muttering to himself.)
What the fuck…

(Beckett enters.)

(Ben looks up at him.)

BEN
You wrote this, right?

BECKETT
Why yes, I did.

BEN
It sucks.

BECKETT
What?

BEN
This book (beat.) Watt (beat.) it sucks.

(Beckett laughs.)

BECKETT
Imbecile.

BEN
So because I don’t like your book, I’m stupid?

BECKETT
Yes, don’t you see? I wasn’t trying to write your typical normal “book” with “plot” and “characters.”

BEN
I know, I know. You were trying to “redefine what we think of as a novel” or “writing.”

BECKETT
Precisely.

BEN
Do you have any idea how pretentious that is?

BECKETT
You just don’t understand.

BEN
Maybe it’s just pretentious.

BECKETT
You are just too rooted in the societal definition of what writing is to comprehend the true depth and realism of my work.

BEN
If by “depth and realism” you mean “mind numbing boringness” then yes, exactly.

BECKETT
Who are you to mock me? I’m Samuel Beckett!

BEN
Funny, you seem like a pompous dick to me.

BECKETT
You really think you could write a better book?

BEN
Actually, yes.

(Beat.)

BECKETT
Well you can’t.

BEN
You keep telling yourself that.

(Beat.)

You know what? If you love your book so much…

(He hurls the book at the ground in front of Beckett.)

Have fun, I can’t read another word of that or I’ll fall asleep.

(He gets up and exits.)

(Beckett stands looking shocked and angry.)

(Beat.)

(He picks up the book, opens it, and starts to read.)

(Suddenly he bursts into laughter in the middle of reading.)

BECKETT
(To himself.)
I don’t know what he’s talking about.

(He continues laughing.)

(Blackout.)