Play 190: The Other Six Percent

CHARACTERS
VINCENT, 17
JOSH, 17

(They’re sitting at a table eating lunch.)

JOSH
Seriously?

VINCENT
Yeah.

JOSH
Ninety-four percent?

VINCENT
Yup.

JOSH
You sure you’re not remembering it wrong?

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Beat.)

JOSH
Wow.

VINCENT
I know.

(Beat.)

Kind of hard to imagine.

JOSH
Very.

(Beat.)

You don’t, do you?

VINCENT
Nope.

(Beat.)

You?

JOSH
Not really.

(Beat.)

Maybe a litte.

(Beat.)

Is that counted in the 94 percent?

VINCENT
I don’t know

(Beat.)

Maybe.

JOSH
So you don’t at all?

VINCENT
Nope, I’m definitely an atheist.

JOSH
Yeah, me too pretty much.

VINCENT
Got a little agnostic in there or something?

JOSH
Yeah, a little.

VINCENT
That’s understandable.

JOSH
Yeah, you can never be sure really.

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Beat.)

JOSH
That’s still ridiculous to believe that 94 percent of people in this country believe in god though.

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Beat.)

It all varies with area though, in the South it’s 99 percent.

JOSH
It’d suck to be in the other 1 percent.

VINCENT
Yeah.

(Beat.)

No what else is insane?

JOSH
What?

VINCENT
Around 40 percent of Americans say they’re born-again or evangelical Christians.

JOSH
Really?

VINCENT
Kind of frightening, isn’t it?

JOSH
Very.

VINCENT
Note to self: never go to the South.

JOSH
Yeah.

VINCENT
Somehow I doubt being an atheist-Jew goes over too well.

JOSH
I think you underestimate the long tradition of tolerance in the South.

(Beat.)

(They laugh.)

(Blackout.)