Play 40: This Looks Like a Job For…

CHARACTERS
SUPERHERO, male, 16
MAN, early twenties
WOMAN, early twenties

(The man and woman are sitting across each other at a table eating lunch.)

(The superhero enters from the side, he is wearing standard superhero gear—ie, cape, etc—and a shirt with the letters “R” “A” and “M” on it.)

SUPERHERO
(To audience.)
Here we have two civilians having a normal and completely non-awkward conversation. This looks like a job for…

(Pause.)

(Yelling.)
Random Awkward Man!

(He runs to the couple, humming a triumphant sounding song loudly, his cape flying out behind him.)

MAN
So I told him…

SUPERHERO
(Cutting him off and continuing his sentence for him.)
…to shut up and take his penis out of my eye socket before I did something crazy!

(The man and woman turn up to look at him in confusion.)

(Long silence.)

SUPERHERO
Well, it looks like my jobs done here. Away!

(He runs offstage humming the same song as earlier, his cape flying behind him.)

(Pause.)

MAN
That was, weird.

WOMAN
Yeah.

MAN
Really awkward.

WOMAN
Yeah. And random as hell.

MAN
And (Beat.) man…ly.

WOMAN
Not really.

MAN
No, I guess not. But definetely random and awkward.

WOMAN
Very.

(Pause.)

MAN
So what the hell was I talking about?

WOMAN
I have no idea.

MAN
Me neither.

(Pause.)

(Suddenly the superhero re-enters, and runs across the stage humming the song loudly again. He proceeds to run off the other side of the stage, the man and woman’s eyes following him the whole way.)

WOMAN
That guy has some severe emotional problems.

MAN
No question.

WOMAN
So what were you saying?

MAN
Hmm…

(Beat.)

Oh yeah, so I told him…

(Blackout.)