Play 315: Touché

CHARACTERS
1
2

1
You should go to sleep.

2
I know.

1
You look terrible.

2
I feel terrible.

1
How much sleep did you get last night?

2
Not enough, let alone enough to make up for all the sleep I didn’t get every night this week.

1
I know the feeling.

(Beat.)

2
Know what’s funny?

1
What?

2
Apparently, running on how much sleep I do is equivalent to having drunken four to five beers.

1
Seriously?

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

1
That doesn’t sound right.

2
Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

1
Who told you that?

2
This sleep expert that came to talk to my school.

1
Weird.

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

1
Somehow I don’t really believe that statistic.

2
I don’t know, it’d explain why I’m nauseous, can’t walk in a straight line, and have banged so many fat chicks.

(Beat.)

It was a joke.

1
Oh.

(Beat.)

2
How did you not realize it was a joke?

1
I haven’t slept enough either.

2
It was pretty obvious.

1
Well, I am effectively wasted right now.

2
Touché.

(Blackout.)