Play 310: The Sad Thing Is I Didn’t Make This Up

CHARACTERS
TEACHER
STUDENT

STUDENT
I have some questions about the test.

TEACHER
I’d be glad to answer them.

STUDENT
Well, a few of the question seemed kind of off.

TEACHER
How so.

STUDENT
The first one seems to be off by a multiple of ten.

TEACHER
You probably just made a small mistake.

STUDENT
I’m pretty sure I didn’t. Look.

(Pause.)

TEACHER
This does seem to look correct…

STUDENT
Yeah, I though so.

TEACHER
I’m sorry then, I guess I did write the wrong thing then.

STUDENT
Okay.

(Beat.)

And problem 3.

TEACHER
What about it?

STUDENT
None of the choices are correct.

TEACHER
No, this one is.

STUDENT
No it’s not.

TEACHER
How isn’t it?

STUDENT
The river’s speed is way greater than the vertical component of the velocity, so it wouldn’t end up directly across the river.

(Pause.)

TEACHER
Oh, I guess you’re right.

STUDENT
Yeah.

TEACHER
I’m really sorry, I’ll make sure to check all the questions more carefully this time.

(Beat.)

STUDENT
And the last problem, problem 10.

TEACHER
What about it?

STUDENT
Well, you said the block’s going 5 meters per second squared.

TEACHER
Yes.

STUDENT
Well, if there were no weight holding it back, it’d go 4.9 meters per second squared.

(He points to some of his work.)

(Beat.)

TEACHER
Yes, that’s true.

(Beat.)

STUDENT
That doesn’t make any sense.

TEACHER
Why?

STUDENT
The block is moving faster with a weight pulling it back than it would without that weight.

(Beat.)

TEACHER
Oh.

STUDENT
Yeah, it makes no sense at all.

(Beat.)

TEACHER
You’re right.

STUDENT
Yeah, I know.

(Blackout.)