Play 103: The Right Door

CHARACTERS
MAN
WOMAN
MAN 2

(There are two doors next to each other in the back and middle of the stage. Above one is a sign that says “The Right Door: Please Enter” and above the other is a sign that says “The Wrong Door: Do Not Enter.” The man is standing in the middle of the stage with his back to the audience.)

(He looks back and forth between the doors, he appears to be confused and distraught.)

(He starts to move as if to go towards the right door, but then immediately pulls his leg back and goes back to his original stance.)

(A woman enters.)

(She looks up at the doors, and then to the man.)

WOMAN
What are you doing?

(He turns from the doors to face her.)

MAN
Trying to figure out what to do.

(She looks at the doors, then back to him. She laughs slightly.)

WOMAN
Well isn’t it obvious?

MAN
I guess.

(Beat.)

WOMAN
I mean, they say do “right” and “wrong” over them.

MAN
I know.

WOMAN
So why don’t you go through the right door?

MAN
Well maybe it’s not the right door.

WOMAN
It says “Right Door” on the sign above it.

MAN
So? Maybe someone put it up to fool me. Maybe it’s really the wrong door.

WOMAN
Isn’t that a little paranoid?

MAN
I like to think of it as being cautious.

WOMAN
Just go through the door.

MAN
But what if the sign’s lying?

WOMAN
Well, if you’re so worried, then just go through the other door.

MAN
But it says it’s the wrong door over it!

WOMAN
Are you serious?

MAN
What?

WOMAN
Just go through the fucking right door.

MAN
Yeah, I should.

(He starts to head for it, then turns back.)

MAN
But what if…

WOMAN
(interrupting him.)
You know what, just figure it out yourself.

(She leaves.)

MAN
(Muttering.)
Goddamn it.

(He turns back to the doors.)

(He stands pensively looking back and forth between the two doors.)

(Pause.)

MAN
(Muttering.)
Fuck it.

(He exits.)

(Another man enters.)

(He looks up at the doors.)

(He pauses for a second, then heads through the “right” door.)

(Blackout.)