Play 61: A Couple of Beers

CHARACTERS
DMITRI, 25
ALEXANDRA, 24

(He’s sitting on a stool in a bar late at night. She enters looking worn out and sits a couple seats away from him.)

(Pause.)

DMITRI
Hey.

ALEXANDRA
(slightly annoyed)
Hey.

DMITRI
Can I buy you a drink? A beer maybe?

ALEXANDRA
(annoyed)
I hate beer.

DMITRI
Sorry, maybe something el—

ALEXANDRA
(almost yelling)
Why do guys always assume that everyone likes beer just because they do?!

DMITRI
No no, I—

ALEXANDRA
What? I am so curious to hear what you have to say.

DMITRI
I hate beer too.

(She gives him a cold look.)

DMITRI
Seriously, I do, look.

(He holds up his glass, while empty it’s apparent it’s some kind of mixed drink.)

ALEXANDRA
Then why did you ask me if I wanted a beer?

DMITRI
I don’t know, seems like it’s what most people have.

ALEXANDRA
You’ve been hanging around with guys too much.

(He laughs, her expression lightens up.)

DMITRI
I guess I have.

(beat.)

So what you want instead?

ALEXANDRA
How about a grasshopper.

DMITRI
(to bartender)
Two grasshoppers.

(The bartender makes the drinks and puts them on the counter.)

ALEXANDRA
Thanks.
(beat.)
Wait, you like grasshoppers?

DMITRI
Yeah, one of my favorites.

ALEXANDRA
That’s surprising.

DMITRI
Why?

ALEXANDRA
I don’t think anyone else I know has even heard of them.

DMITRI
Well, here’s to being a freak.

(He lifts his glass.)

(She laughs and clinks her glass on his.)

ALEXANDRA
Look, I’m sorry for snapping on you earlier.

DMITRI
Don’t worry about it.
(beat.)
Bad day?

ALEXANDRA
You have no idea.

DMITRI
I’m sorry. Better drink up then.

(She laughs and takes a sip.)

ALEXANDRA
So that’s why I’m here. How about you?

DMITRI
Hanging out with some friends, they left a bit ago.

ALEXANDRA
And yet you’re still here?

DMITRI
Yeah, I haven’t had the best day myself so I thought a few more drinks sounded nice.

ALEXANDRA
Yeah, they definitely do.

(He looks down at his watch.)

DMITRI
Fuck.

ALEXANDRA
What?

DMITRI
I got work tomorrow morning and I hadn’t realized how late it is.

ALEXANDRA
That’s too bad.

DMITRI
Yeah.
(beat.)
But, here’s my number.

(He writes it down on a napkin.)

maybe we can talk again sometime?

ALEXANDRA
Yeah, that sounds nice.

(she smiles.)

DMITRI
(as he’s leaving.)
Call me up and we can go out some time, maybe grab a couple of beers.

(They laugh.)

(He exits.)

(Blackout.)