Play 240: Gary

CHARACTERS
JAMES, late 20s
MATT, late 20s

(It’s very late at night, they are sitting in a graveyard next to a tombstone. James is holding a bottle wrapped in a paper bag, has a very distraught look on his face, and is obviously quite drunk. Matt too appears to be drunk, if not to quite the same extent.)

(James takes a long swig.)

MATT
I’m sorry.

JAMES
(Muttering.)
Gary.

(He shakes his head.)

(Beat.)

(He hands the bottle to Matt.)

JAMES
I can’t believe it’s been…

(Beat.)

It’s been…

(Matt looks at the tombstone.)

MATT
Two years.

JAMES
Two years!

(Beat.)

It’s been two years since the old bastard died!

(Matt hands him the bottle, and James quickly gulps down another mouthful from it.)

MATT
I can’t believe it either.

(Beat.)

JAMES
Why did he do it?

MATT
I don’t know.

(James stands up.)

JAMES
(Screaming at the tombstone.)
Why the fuck did you do it?!

(Beat.)

JAMES
(Angrily.)
You fucking moron!

(He grabs a handful of grass and dirt and throws it drunkenly at the tombstone.)

MATT
Calm down James.

JAMES
Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down!

(He takes another swig.)

MATT
You know I miss him too.

(James takes a deep breath, and appears to have calmed down.)

JAMES
I know.

(Beat.)

I’m sorry.

MATT
It’s okay.

(Beat.)

JAMES
Here.

(He holds out the bottle.)

Have some.

MATT
Thanks.

(He takes the bottle and takes a long swig.)

(James stands back up, and turns to the tombstone.)

JAMES
(Enraged.)
You just had to do it, you didn’t give a fuck about anyone else except yourself you selfish—

(Matt bursts into laughter.)

JAMES
You selfish old son of a—

(He stops mid sentence as he too bursts into laugher. They both roll around on the ground laughin hysterically.)

MATT
(In between fits of laughter.)
You were right.

JAMES
I know, isn’t this fucking fun?

MATT
Definitely.

JAMES
Hilarious, right?

(Beat.)

Oh shit.

MATT
What?

JAMES
Take it.

(He holds out the bottle.)

MATT
What is it?

JAMES
Take it!

(Matt takes the bottle.)

(James leans over to the side and vomits on the ground.)

MATT
Goddamn it James!

JAMES
It’s not my fucking fault!

(Beat.)

(He reaches his hand out.)

MATT
What?

(James points drunkenly at the bottle.)

MATT
No way, you’re done.

JAMES
Yeah?

(Beat.)

Fuck you!

(He grabs another handful of dirt and throws it in Matt’s direction, missing badly.)

You’re just like…

(Beat.)

Just like…

MATT
Gary?

JAMES
Yeah, just like fucking Gary!

(Beat.)

(They both break down into laughter.)

(Blackout.)