Play 135: Hypochondriac

CHARACTERS
GUY 1, 17
GUY 2, 17

(Vincent is sitting in front of a computer in a computer lab, Allen is sitting in the chari next to him.)

1
(Muttering to himself.)
Hmm…

2
What?

1
Nothing.

2
What you looking at?

1
Nothing much.

(Allen looks over at the computer.)

2
GAD?

(Beat.)

1
General Anxiety Disorder.

2
Think it might apply?

1
Maybe.

2
Those online things are misleading though.

1
I know, I mean, from some sites you can almost think you’re fucking schizophrenic even.

2
Yeah.

(Beat.)

Didn’t you say you think you have OCD before?

1
Yeah, I think I probably have it mildly.

2
So you think you have that, and Anxiety Disorder or whatever?

1
I’m not sure about that one at all.

(Beat.)

I think it’s more likely I have Social Anxiety Disorder.

2
What’s the difference?

1
A lot.

(Beat.)

2
I’ll take your word for it.

(Beat.)

(Sarcastically.)
Is that all?

1
Pretty much.

(Beat.)

I also think might have Clinical Depression.

2
really?

1
I said might, maybe, but then again, I easily could not too.

2
Have you ever considered you might be a hypochondriac?

1
Definitely.

(Beat.)

2
Do you even know what it means?

(Pause.)

You don’t do you?

(Beat.)

1
What is it?

2
It means thinking you’re sick when you’re not.

(Beat.)

1
Oh.

(Beat.)

2
You are aware you just got served?

1
Yes. Quite badly.

2
Indeed.

(Blackout.)