Play 78: It’s Too Late Now

CHARACTERS
MAN, early 20s
WOMAN, early 20s
HOSTESS, mid 20s
WAITRESS, mid 20s

(The man and woman are seated at a table in a restaurant, the hostess is standing by the table.)

HOSTESS
Here are your menus

(She hands them menus.)

And your server, Matt, will be here shortly.

MAN AND WOMAN
Thank you.

(Pause, they sit looking over the menus.)

MAN
So, what do you think you’ll have?

WOMAN
I’m not sure.

(Beat.)

You?

MAN
Me neither.

(They continue looking over the menus.)

(The waitress enters.)

WAITRESS
Hi, I’m Amy, I’ll be your server for the night. Any drinks to start?

MAN
I think I’ll have a

(Beat.)

Wait, what happened to Matt?

WAITRESS
Who?

MAN
Where’s Matt?

WAITRESS
He’s (beat.) somewhere else in the restaurant I imagine.

MAN
Oh. I was told he was going to be our server.

WAITRESS
Really? I’m sorry, there must have been a mix-up.

MAN
I see.

WOMAN
So Matt won’t be coming?

WAITRESS
No. Once again, I’m sorry for the confusion—

MAN
I don’t appreciate being lied to.

WAITRESS
I assure you, that’s not what we did—

WOMAN
Well were’nt we told Matt would be our waiter?

WAITRESS
Yes, but—

WOMAN
And are you Matt?

WAITRESS
No, but that’s not—

WOMAN
Then how were we not lied to?

WAITRESS
I apologize again for what you were told—

MAN
So I guess you think that makes it better?

WAITRESS
Look, if you want me to go get Matt I can.

MAN
No.

WAITRESS
Well, if you’re so worried about not having Matt as your server—

MAN
I already said no, it’s too late now.
WAITRESS
Well then what can I do to make this alright?

MAN
(Almost yelling.)
Alright?! You want to make it alright?

WAITRESS
I’m sorry—

MAN
You should be, because you just lost two customers.

(beat.)

(To the woman.) Let’s leave honey.

WOMAN
(To the waitress.)
Really, get your act together.

(They exit.)

(The waitress remains standing in silence with a confused look on her face for a few seconds, then goes off to another table and starts talking to the people sitting at it.)

(Fade out.)